Ukrainian Secrets to a Long Marriage

Rolling Pin a Weapon of a Ukrainian Wife
So, dear husbands, whom you love more, your mothers or your wives?
Kind of tough question, huh?
Not really. Just read a poem below. It’s called “A Ukrainian Wife’s Poem” – my husband’s sister-in-law sent me it:

A Ukrainian Wife’s Poem

He didn't like my holubtsi 
And he didn't like my cake, 
He said my perogies were too hard 
Not like his mother used to make. 

I didn't perk the coffee right 
He didn't like the borsch, 
I didn't mend his socks 
The way his mother used to do. 

I pondered for an answer 
I was looking for a clue. 
Then I turned around and 
Smacked the crap out of him 
Like his mother used to do! 

I don’t know who is an author of this poem – it’s goes viral by e-mails between Ukrainians of North America – but this poet definitely got a great sense of humor! I showed the poem to Ron, my husband – he was laughing hard, just like me. Thank God, my hubby got a good sense of humor, too (otherwise I wouldn’t marry him – I have a hard time to spend even 5 minutes in presence of man without sense of humor).
Posting here this poem, I just wanted to introduce you to Ukrainian marriage humor – for you to get an idea what kind of humor it is. Yep, this is the kind! And this poem was written about relationships in family, where both – husband and wife – are Ukrainians, that’s why the author mentioned a Ukrainian dish holubtsi (cabbage rolls) and perogies (stuffed dumplings). Speaking ethnographically and historically, the situation which described in the poem is very typical for the marriages between two Ukrainians, so, it is not totally a joke.
Anyway, as you can see, this poem is showing a wife as a winner of the situation.
Here is another example of Ukrainian marriage humor, where a winner is a Ukrainian husband. A story called “Ukrainian secret to a long marriage” (sent me by my husband’s dear sister-in-law, too):

“At Ukrainian Church in …… (Name of North American city), they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Joe who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Joe replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've always tried to treat her nice, spent lots of money on her, but best of all I took her to the Ukraine for our 25th wedding anniversary!"
The priest amazed responded, "Joe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands gathered here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife on your 50th anniversary."
Joe proudly replied, "I’m gonna go pick her up."

P.S. An illustration to this post – a rolling pin – is a part of Ukrainian marriage humor too. Well, I would say not only Ukrainian – our good friends Tanya and Bill from England sent it to Ron and me as a wedding gift :)
P.P.S. A huge “Thanks!” to my husband’s sister-in-law for sending me all these jokes! Just for the record – she is a Ukrainian wife to a Ukrainian husband. I am a Ukrainian wife to a Ukrainian husband, too. My husband’s sister-in-law and I are getting along very well, especially if it’s come to Ukrainian marriage humor :)